Fake Smiles
by Vanilla Coated Love
Summary: 8. Mikan thought that her life in the Academy was perfect but it wasn't; it was all fake, including her relationship with Natsume.
1. Chapter 1

**Fake Smiles**

**by Vanilla Coated Love**

**Mikan thought that her life in the Academy was perfect but it wasn't; it was all fake, including her relationship with Natsume.**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN GAKUEN ALICE**

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><p><em>Don't judge people, you have no idea what they're going through.<em>

**Her Perspective**

Smiles can either be real or not. They can hide the truth, for all we know. I'll be narrating about the events that happened to me in this Academy, along with the fake smiles that came with it.

…

He's not the only reason why I'm about to do this. He's so lucky if he is. There were other factors, mini events, as I like to call it that happened before, after and in between. And it didn't start when I found out about _it_, it started the day I entered this Academy. The day I found out that I was an Alice.

Hell, I was happy. I got to meet Hotaru and made friends. And yes, I fell in love at a young age. How old was I? I was eleven, I guess. Ha. I beat you, huh?

But still, at a young age, I experienced things that a normal eleven year old would never experience. Well, for starters, I'm not normal. I am an Alice. They said that we're special, unique even. I believed them…at first.

Not your normal eleven year old.

Keep that in mind, it's one important aspect.

I don't have parents. Never seen my dad, he died before I was even born, but I met my mom. She was an angel. Want to hear a joke? The day I knew that she was my mother was also the day when she died. Scratch that…she didn't die…she was killed…while she was in the Academy.

You still like the Academy?

Wait. My story gets better.

…

They locked me up.

As if I did something wrong when in fact I did the right thing. I felt like a prisoner.

They said that I was dangerous. That my Alice was dangerous.

I was a positive thinker.

_It's okay, I'm with Mr. Bear. He can keep me company._

_Things will get better._

_This is the right thing._

Every day I kept that in mind but I can't hide the fact that I missed my friends, that I missed him.

…

Things started to calm down, after almost a year of staying in that room they finally let me out. I was free. It was probably one of the happiest days of my life, then there came a point in time that all of my happy days became my not-so-happy days.

Me and Natsume became a couple when we were in middle school.

Love.

What's your view on love?

How do you define it?

It's different for each person. Every person has a heart but it beats differently with all the others. You have to find the person that could beat perfectly with yours. That's one of the reasons why we live. To love and be loved. Ain't it a beautiful thing? That will all the strangers in the world you're going to find a person who's perfect for you? Who'll accept you for who you are? It's like you actually accomplished something.

I thought I had that.

Apparently the whole Academy found out before I did. I knew something was wrong because when we were already in high school his fan girls were always greeting me with a smile, "Hi, Mikan." They'd say. Or a good morning, good afternoon, once they asked if I've eaten already.

There was always a smile, it wasn't forced or anything. I'm not stupid. I knew something was up. I can feel people staring at me and when I ask what was wrong they'd just say "Nothing's wrong." and smile.

I used to smile all the time, even when I was sad.

If you were to choose… your worst enemy or your backstabbing friend?

Shall we analyze? Okay then…

You already hate your enemy since the very beginning but not your backstabbing best friend. There was love at the beginning. You loved your best friend. You couldn't possible hate him or her, right?

So… I'd rather choose my worst enemy because of that.

Smiling was practically my best friend but then it became my backstabbing best friend.

The smiles were all fake.

I found out a week later when I was in the comfort room. I heard girls talking.

"Did you hear about Natsume and his girlfriend?"

His girlfriend.

That was me for them. I wasn't Mikan, I was Natsume's girlfriend.

Was that how the school saw me?

Natsume's girlfriend.

Hotaru's best friend.

Yuka's daughter.

The girl with the stealing and nullifying alice.

To them I was never Mikan Sakura.

"Not really." I heard another voice say, "What's with them?"

I was listening intently.

"Remember that Natsume goes on missions, right?"

"I've heard of that."

I heard the water running, she was washing her hands. "Well, practically, his relationship with his girlfriend is one."

I could feel my heart beating. Loud and fast.

I heard a gasp, "It's a mission?"

"Yeah. Pretty messed up, huh? It's because the Academy wanted to keep an eye on her and they thought that Natsume was perfect. They asked him about it when he was elementary."

"Ouch. But what's the catch?"

"His sister was to be set free."

"But I thought that…?"

"That's what they wanted you to think. It was all fake after all."

"Well, if his sister is already out then why is Natsume still with her? Maybe he actually loves her."

Yeah. Maybe he actually loves her. Maybe.

"From what I heard is that he doesn't. They said that he's planning to break up with her. Natsume just let time the time pass. He was having fun."

…

"You knew and you never told me."

I stared into her amethyst eyes, trying to sound strong, to be strong, but deep down I was breaking. Practically all of my years here in the Academy weren't real. "Mikan, I-"

"I can't believe you."

"I found out a couple of weeks ago." Hotaru reached out, wanting to hug me but I took a step back.

"Yeah? So?"

"I didn't say anything because I didn't want you to get hurt. Believe me, Hyuuga's an ass. I've been making his life miserable ever since."

I ignored her last comment, "But I found out."

"Mikan, please, I'm sorry."

I turned around, the tears were finally coming. "Of course you are." Then I left.

…

I wanted it done.

I'm tired of everything. Tired of crying myself to sleep every night. Tired of pretending that I'm okay.

All were lies. My whole life is practically one huge lie. And it's all because of the Academy. All because I came to this place. I was their guinea pig. It's not about Natsume, he's just a small part of it. The day I was born and up 'till now is why. What if the Academy talked to class B too just to befriend me?

You'd think that I should face all of my problems and think that it'll get better but I've been facing all of my problems for the past seven years and none of them worked out perfectly. Maybe it's time to give up.

I'd rather feel nothing than experience all the pain that life still has in store for me.

That's why I'm here, almost a month later since I found out.

I stared at my reflection in my bathroom mirror…

…gave myself a fake smile…

… took my last breath…

…closed my eyes…

…positioned the gun…

…and I pulled the trigger.

_I'm sorry._

**THE END**

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><p><strong>Do leave a review and tell me what you think.<strong>

**Thank you.**

**-VCL 1:48 AM 7/31/2011**


	2. Chapter 2

_The attraction of __guilt __produces fear of love, for love would never look on __guilt __at all._

**His Perspective  
><strong>

I was planning on telling her but I didn't get the chance. She found out. Okay, you know when rumors are just rumors? Well, this one isn't. This one was actually true.

Yes, it was a mission.

Yes, it was to save my sister.

Yes, I fooled her.

Yes, I thought that it was the right decision…at that time.

I didn't know what else to do. I was desperate. And then…and then she came; _Mikan_ came. One of the things that always bugged me when I see her was her smile. She always smiles. No matter what happens. It was real; her smile. While everything about her was real, everything I did was fake.

I thought that she'd be the one who would save me from the darkness, from my darkness. But then, as it turns out, I dragged her into it, without her knowing.

Around the first month of her stay. That's when they gave me the mission.

"Just take it slowly but surely." I remembered them saying.

Then they'll set my sister free.

That's what I did. Everything was an act. Everything was planned. And nobody knew.

If you were to ask me, what was the biggest mistake of my life, then I would answer…this.

But at the middle of it all, at the middle of this game of pretend…I fell for her.

I really did.

I tried to deny it, to stop it. Hell, I was only eleven. What do I know about love? But I did know something about it; about love. Because no matter what I do, I keep on coming back. To her.

That's love. You say no but love says yes. You say stop and love will whisper don't. There's no way out, you're trapped.

I was trapped.

And the crazy thing about it?

I liked it.

So forget about the mission. I'll find a way about my sister.

I never told her, though. About the mission, about Aoi.

Another mistake.

I let time, years, pass, hoping that she won't find out. But she did.

That's why right now, five years later, I'm running to the girl's dormitories.

"She knows." Imai said. I've never seen her look so worried.

They said she'd been there for days already. Something was wrong, I knew her too well. I didn't know anything, I was on another mission. God, please.

I have to explain everything. Make everything right. We can talk this out. I don't care if she'll be mad at me, hate me, and maybe even break up with me. She just has to know…

...that I really loved her...

...that she was the reason why I try not to use my Alice so that I get to live longer, with her...

... and that the smiles weren't fake.

I was at her door now, with my hand on the knob. Everything's going to be fine, I thought.

I turned it…then… the sound came from her room…the sound of a gunshot.

No.

No.

No.

I was too late. A second too late.

_My fault_. The words kept on repeating over and over as I found her body.

No breath. No pulse. No heartbeat.

_I'm sorry, Mikan. I am so sorry._

**THE END**

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><p><strong>Natsume's version. I've been getting reviews about this so I wrote it. It's short and all...but it explains everything.<strong>

**Do leave a review.**

**-VCL 9/28/2011; 2:35 PM**


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